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Forum > Văn viết tiếng Anh >> please correct for me!

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 Post by: linhtrang
 member
 ID 15881
 Date: 08/20/2007


please correct for me!
profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang    edit -sua doi, thay doi  post reply - goy y kien
Studying in another country is advantageous in many ways. First of all, a student is exposed to a new culture when a student studies abroad he/she has opportunity to understand more about customes, vacations of that country. Instead of reading in books or newspapers they can expose directly to new culture where youre studying by communicating with native people to know how practical life, see things which they havent been seen or read in books, televisions or newspapers. Second, sometimes he or she can learn a new language. Studying in another country means there will be a wide mix of culture. So, there will be foreign communities from most parts of the world, they can learn new language from who comes from those countries in many ways, such as talking, chatting, exposing everyday. Third, students can often have learning experiences not available in their own countries. From learning each other, they can learn many things differ from their countries. They know how to treat reasonable, how to deal with everyone who lives around them. Finally, a student may get the opportunity to study at a university where a leading expert in his or her field may be teaching. Why you have go to another country to study? The answer is to learn new technology, new knowledge, update the newest information about his or her field, especially to study with a learning expert who is not only good at major but also has wide experiences. So, you have to cost much money to study abroad. In conclusion, studying in another country has many advantages.

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 Reply: xuananh88
 member
 REF: 95991
 Date: 09/11/2007


  profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang  edit - sua bai, thay doi   post reply - goy y kien, dang bai
i think learn in another country is very expensive. so, why do you learn in internet, you login forum, then we can learn many things together. I am going to travel around the world, because I want to learn every thing about life around me.Who can go with me, i think it is very interesting, it make me more intelligent.I agreed with your passage, but i think we should see disvantage and understand this event.
ps. I used speak english in my passage. so I hope everybody read and understand for me. Thank you


 
 Reply: vanthanhnguyen
 member
 REF: 97400
 Date: 12/10/2007


  profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang  edit - sua bai, thay doi   post reply - goy y kien, dang bai
Well, Linhtrang has a point and her thoughts. However, everyone has their goal to exploring life in different ways to achieving it. We actually can not make others to following our ideas.

 
 Reply: namthao
 member
 REF: 97416
 Date: 12/11/2007


  profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang  edit - sua bai, thay doi   post reply - goy y kien, dang bai
Hi Linhtrang,

By correcting your essay, I am also learning English from you, so don't humble yourself, please. When I studied ESL, and if I made a mistake "verb tense", I get score -1point, "comma and period" -1/2 point, "article and capital" -1/4 point. When you (people) wrote the essay like this, I believed you are able to correct your essay by yourself, so I just try to remind you where you should correct it.

First, let's say your essay has five paragraphs. The first paragraph (introduction):

"Studying in another country is advantageous in many ways."
Do you think your introduction is long enough?


First of all, a student is exposed to a new culture when a student studies abroad he/she has opportunity to understand more about customes, vacations of that country. Instead of reading in books or newspapers they can expose directly to new culture where youre studying by communicating with native people to know how practical life, see things which they havent been seen or read in books, televisions or newspapers.

Second, sometimes he or she can learn a new language. Studying in another country means mix of culture. So, there will be foreign communities from most parts of the world, they can learn new language from who comes from those countries in many ways, such as talking, chatting, exposing everyday.

Third, students can often have learning experiences not available in their own countries.
(This sentence is your third main idea that supports your topic, unfortunately, it is not clear. What is experience that they did not have in their own countries? you should use adjective phrase to connect the second clause.)

Finally, ("a student may get the opportunity to study at a university where a leading expert in his or her field may be teaching. Why you have go to another country to study? The answer is to . ." should omit)

By studing abroad, students have more opportunities to learn new technology, new knowledge, update the newest information about his or her field (what field? major or career), especially they have many chances to study from expert who is not only good at major but also has wide experiences. Although it costs a lot of money for study abroad, students learn the most value things of the world.

Personally, I love the way you organize your essay :introduction, body, and final thought.
In the body,you have three main ideas: "a student is exposed to a new culture . ."; "he or she can learn a new language" the third one you should say " the students have many opportunities to learn and exchange experience from each other, which did not have in their country"

In technical writing, you should use "coodinating conjunctions and parallel structure" and "adjective clauses and phrase" where is needed. Please try to correct it again as you can, then, let me know. I expect to learn English from you in future.

Chc may mắn


Nam Thao


 
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